This evening I was watching one of my all time favorite shows, Phineas and Ferb. Yes I love Perry the Platypus and I think this cartoon is very entertaining, so often, I am found watching it with my children. In fact, Alex and I have matching Perry t-shirts. Tonight, Dr. Doofenschmirtz was singing about lies and how we all tell each other little white lies all the time–it’s just the way we communicate with each other. His catchy little song disturbed me because I try to be truthful all the time, sometimes creatively so, but nonetheless, honest. And I don’t think the creators of P & F were trying to advocated that lying was an approved method of communicating but perhaps just trying to get us to think about how honest we as a nation really aren’t. I know–deep for a kid’s cartoon. I was just hoping my 5 year old wouldn’t find this a reason to stop telling the truth!
But Dr. D did have a point–do we lie, or tell half-truths, on a regular basis? Probably more than we should. Even if we try not to. Why? The truth can hurt but is it really less painful to cover it up? Maybe just for a little while. It seems to me that many think it is acceptable to lie to the government or maybe even their bosses or mother-in-laws. Just a little white lie–like calling in sick when spring “fever” (that’s sick, right?) has struck. Like cheating on taxes. Or telling your friend that you like her new sweater, when you really think it’s not the most flattering color for her. Just because you don’t want to hurt her feelings. Is Aunt Ruth’s cake delicious or did she forget the salt again? While we can chuckle at some of this, there may well be an underlying problem that isn’t very funny. Especially when we look in the mirror.
When we can’t be honest with ourselves, we should see a big, red flag, waving furiously, telling us to pull over and examine what is going on. Some of us grow so used to lying that we don’t even know we are doing it anymore.We believe the lies. We tell ourselves things we want to hear because it makes us feel good and we are all about feeling good and self-esteem in America. Vanity sizing is an excellent example of this epidemic. I am not gullible enough to think that I really wear a size a because I actually used to wear a size a years ago and I’m not the same size that I was then. But now if I have to wear bigger than a size b, it kind of freaks me out and I won’t buy the article of clothing no matter how cute. Today a size a didn’t cut it and my husband said, “You’re a perfect size b” to which I dejectedly replied, “But the online review said to order one size smaller.” He wisely responded, “Some people don’t want to admit what size they really are.” Ouch, could I be one of them?
Hmmmm…. food for thought. So I am no longer a size a. I am not the clothes I’m wearing. I am not my dress size. I have to accept that after 40, things shift and I’m just a little thicker than I used to be. It’s not fun, but denying it doesn’t change it. I’m fit, I’m tone but I’m not as small as I was during the first half of my life. If I can’t be honest with myself, who can I be honest with? Seem like a small thing? Not if you make a habit of fudging in several areas of your life over an extended period of time. It’s not just weight and body image but that is a big one in a land where DQ is on every corner and the Route 44 drink at Sonic is the new “regular” size drink. But it does apply to other areas as well–finances, relationships etc. I’m sure you can think of one that applies to you.
Now I’m not saying all this to make you feel guilty about the lies you’ve told others recently in the name of diplomacy or even to your boss because “He’s just a jerk and he deserves it!” But while I do advocate that honesty is always the best policy, I will at least implore you to start by being honest with yourself. You owe it to yourself and though the truth really can hurt, ( pretty badly sometimes) it is the first step toward healing and moving forward. It is the first step toward truly loving and respecting yourself. And loving yourself is the first step toward truly loving those around you. maybe if we were all honest with ourselves, the world wouldn’t be quite so bleak.
“Oh, there you are Perry!” Sorry. Another Phineas and Ferb reference. I just love that little blue marsupial! Even if he is animated:)
Decidedly Different 