He was six years old and petrified of crabs. He was never going to the beach, let alone into the ocean. After tearful goodbyes and leaving his grandparents at the airport, we began a long journey to our island home. He mastered the airplane like a pro, saying, “That wasn’t as bad as I thought!” We shared fun times in San Diego at Legoland and nearly missed our airplane the next morning because we didn’t get up early enough and were caught in traffic AND we were flying with our beloved Schnauzer Lucy, for which we should have allowed extra time at the airport. That was my bad. Chalk it up to me not being a morning person. Lesson learned.
We landed and promptly had to take Lucy to “Feathers and Fur”—a 24 hour vet clinic because she had kind of exploded in her kennel during the flight and there was some blood in the mess so we needed to make sure she was okay. She recovered quickly. Our condo was in Kaneohe and had a magnificent view of Chinaman’s hat. It was a lovely way to start our time on O’ahu. I almost could have stayed. But it was tiny and the people above us where a bit rambunctious at night. I think they had father/son wrestling matches every evening…. There were ants if anything was left out and we weren’t as near to the beach as any of us would have liked but it was the beginning of a beautiful adventure.
The next morning I remember very vocal birds awakening me at 4 in the morning and I think the kids had been up longer. My daughter and youngest son were in the cozy bedroom and my eldest, who was just with us for the summer before college, was on the white sectional sofa in the living room. The condo had a balcony and there we met our first bird friend, Jack—a Brazilian cardinal who delighted in his daily visits to us. It was from this balcony I believe youngest boy fell in love with Hawaii. In an awestruck voice he murmured, “Texas doesn’t look like this.” We took the kids to fabulous Kailua Beach and all fear of crabs was long forgotten. The boy jumping wildly in delight in the deep azure waves of the Pacific Ocean.
We had wanted to live near the Ocean. I had resisted with all my might and mane living in the middle of the island. We had a part-time school set up for our daughter and our whole life would revolved around the beach. But it was not to be. We did end up in the middle—for better or for worse and though it was not what I had hoped, still it was a lovely neighborhood with sidewalks where I could run and rec centers with swimming pools, which youngest still says he prefers to the ocean (only for serious swimming though). We moved into our 3/2 on a corner lot on a busier than I would have liked street and we began an extensive renovation from the get go—scraping popcorn off the ceiling!
The first year was rough. The honeymoon was over and real life began in earnest. Youngest had trouble breaking into the friendship clicks at co-op. Tears. Every. Week. “When we go back to Texas…” was heard more often than I can count. Complacent bosses and abrasive co-workers and island work ethic left much to be desired but we adjusted. One day at a time. Our daughter went through a Crisis of Faith here and it was hard but she prevailed. Or should I say He prevailed. And we learned such valuable lessons like what it feels like to be the minority culture. How even one friend can make you feel like you belong. I went from being a person who didn’t really consider herself to be very beachy to one who lived to see turtles poke their adorable little noggins up and take in a loud, raspy breath that could startle you off of your paddle board if you didn’t expect it!
We stretched, grew and began to thrive despite less than ideal work schedules and nearly non-existent customer service. The Ko`olaus, and the Waianae Mountain Range enveloped us with God’s great majesty…. the birds of the air~saffron finch, Kolea, common waxbills, fairy terns (pictured above) enchanted us with their sweet melodies… the creatures of the ocean– green sea turtles and Hawaiian monk seals all became our good friends who bring us so much joy. Our ohana (Go watch Lilo and Stitch if you don’t know what Ohana means!). Not to mention the hanai family we have met and entwined into our lives in a way I don’t think I knew was possible… I began to imagine that we might stay here forever… I think I knew we couldn’t stay but I somehow convinced myself that we would.
So as I sit here on my sofa in my beautiful living room with my painstakingly sought after perfect shade of yellow (dubbed “Friendly” by Sherwin Williams) and my beach house white wooden ceilings, and the movers are on their way. It’s so surreal. It’s time to go home. The boy who never wanted to move here is devastated. He’s eleven now and relishes jumping off the ten foot wall at Queens Beach…He’ll follow me on a paddle board with only a bit of trepidation if the water is smooth. He loves Uncle Clay’s House of Pure Aloha, Spam Musubi, Legos and being with his friends. So much the same as when we arrived and yet so different. This same boy who wanted to move back to Texas every single week for the first year we were here would give it all up if he could stay. We will seriously miss hiking and playing and loving our friends who have made our lives so meaningful. It’s hard to pull up roots and start again. There are lots of advantages to moving back to Texas—we’ll be closer to family, things will be much less expensive, people more friendly… but it will be a transition.
We plan to come back to visit often. I can’t seem to let go of this place that has such a hold on me. I love to study Hawaiian history and the monarchy especially—I just feel a special connection to some of them in a way that is really unexplainable. Right now, I feel a bit like Princess Ka`iulani, who was sent to the UK for her schooling. It was so hard for her to leave. She was away for many years and in the meantime, the monarchy crumbled and she was heartbroken. Though she did return home, she died at a young age… I know it’s a melancholy tale. But it’s how I’m feeling at the moment. Like I’m being sent away—though I’m not. Hawaii Nei will always be a part of me. A part of who I am. And I hope it’s not too painful to visit because it won’t be the same as living here.
But it’s time to be brave and see what God has for us back in Texas. You might see more about our island story in the weeks to come as I try to process our time here. Emerson inspires me with his eloquent words: “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not.” Amen and Amen. There is plenty beautiful in Hawaii but we have our share of ugly too. Paradise does not truly exist in this world but thank the Lord, we know it will in the next…
Lord, help me carry the truth, goodness and beauty of your character with me and radiate it to the world around me no matter where I go. And create in me a grateful heart—one filled with longing and expectation, not looking back, but pressing forward to what you have called me to do in the present moment with the people you have put around me. Thank you that you are with us fully, no matter where we are.
Decidedly Different 